Those of you that know me, you know that I adore Kate Spade.  My brand is inspired by her style + use of color, I own more Kate Spade bags than I care to admit, her quotes are scattered all across my website… so when I got word that she was found dead from an apparent suicide earlier this week, I felt like I had lost a friend.

Eerily, I had just written a blog post about outsourcing and I talked about how it’s okay to ask for help.  Whether it’s in business or in life, I feel like this rings so true – especially in light of this tragedy.

Facebook, Instagram, and social media in general allow us to curate our lives so that we are only sharing the highlights.  The triumphs.  The best version of ourselves.  We can pretend to be someone we’re not, living a life that we’re not… and we all take that at face value.  If anything can be gleaned from Kate Spade’s untimely death, it is that life isn’t always what it seems.  To me, she was the epitome of style + success.  She was brilliant, wealthy, beautiful, successful, idolized by so many… to me, it seemed like she had it all!  But apparently she was struggling and in a really dark place.  It’s scary to think that someone who seemingly had it all could feel so lonely + hopeless.

Asking for help is hard.  Admitting that you can’t do it all is hard.  Acknowledging that you are having dark thoughts and feelings is hard… and scary!  But know this… EVERYONE is struggling in some way.  No one has it all.  Behind that perfect Instagram feed and behind that cheery Facebook persona, there is a MESS behind the scenes.  Some messes are bigger than others, but believe me when I say that EVERYONE has a mess of their own.

And I believe that talking about those messes are crucial to burying the stigma surrounding mental health.  We need to be truthful with ourselves and with the people around us so that everyone feels less alone in their struggles.

I went through a messy divorce this past year and I never would’ve gotten through it without my family, friends, and my therapist.  Even now that it’s over, I still see my therapist just to make sure that I’m continuing to live a healthy life and that I’m learning from my past mistakes in my new relationship.  I strongly believe that everyone should see a therapist every once in a while – even when nothing is “wrong”!  I love my therapist and can’t sing her praises enough.  I’m a big time believer in therapy!

I struggle with anxiety.  I have struggled with it for years.  I take daily medication to manage it and sleep medication to help my body rest, because I’m wired differently than most people.  And that’s okay!  I know it’s something I struggle with and I continue to keep tabs on it to make sure that I’m living a healthy life!

I struggle with self-doubt.  I compare myself and my work to others constantly and it drives me crazy.  I worry about every little thing (hello, anxiety) and catastrophize every scenario.  I do my best to manage the comparison demons, but they are always there – taunting me.  It’s super annoying.

I struggle with low self-esteem.  I was called fat, ugly, boring, lazy, repulsive, and so much more during my 10 year marriage and after a while, I started to believe it.  I’m slowly working through my body issue and learning to love my curves… but it’s really really hard.  Especially here in Charleston where everyone is a size negative zero!

From the outside looking in, people probably think I have it all together too.  But guess what?  I DON’T!!!  I’m human, just like everyone else – and I think that sharing that with the world is the first step in breaking the stigma surrounding mental health and asking for help when you need it.  I want other people to feel comfortable acknowledging their messes, their hardships, their struggles… and know that it is OKAY to ask for help.  Whether that’s in the form of a close friend, a family member, a therapist, a mentor, a significant other, life coach, member of the clergy… WHOEVER!!  It’s okay to seek support.  You can’t do it all in life.  It’s impossible and no one is judging you for admitting that you can’t.  So whatever you’re struggling with in life, please please please know that it’s okay to ask for help.  You’ll be surprised at how many people are in your corner and want to see you thrive.  All you have to do is let them in!