You’ve been anticipating your engagement session for months.  You’ve done your research, found an awesome wedding photographer, and you can’t wait for your turn to get in front of their camera.  After all, you’ve been in LOVE with everything they’ve been posting on their blog and social media lately!  You’ve chosen a date for your engagement session, discussed location(s) and timing with your photographer, and carefully chosen your outfits.  Despite some pre-shoot jitters, the session goes well – or so you think – and now you’re anxiously awaiting your online gallery to see all of your beautiful engagement photos.  An email pops up in your inbox – your gallery is ready!  You click the link and… you’re majorly disappointed.

This is my worst nightmare, but I’m not naive enough to think that this couldn’t – or wouldn’t – happen to me or my clients at some point in my career.  In fact, it HAS happened to me and, as hard as it is for me to admit that, I knew that it was bound to happen to me at some point.  Sometimes, everything comes together perfectly for an engagement session and other times… it doesn’t.  I strive to create and showcase consistent imagery so that there are no surprises for my clients.  They know what my work looks like because I post images frequently… and not just my best images, either!  I’m very much a ‘what you see is what you get’ kind of girl, which is why I like to manage expectations from the beginning.  Although I strive to create consistent work in terms of posing, lighting, and editing, not every session is the same and there will ALWAYS be some variation from couple to couple.  From the location(s), to the lighting, to the weather, to the temperature, to the outfit choices, to the couple’s comfort level with me, to the couple’s comfort level with each other… so many things can come into play that can create variation from session to session.  So, if you’re disappointed in your engagement photos, what do you do?

First and foremost, breathe.  This is what engagement sessions are for!  There is still time to discuss your concerns with your photographer before your wedding day and nine times out of ten, it will be a smooth and easy process to “fix” the things you don’t like about your engagement photos.

So after you’ve taken a deep breath, it’s time to do some work.  It’s important to analyze WHY you’re feeling disappointed in your engagement photos.

The hard truth is that some clients are simply just overly critical of themselves and tend to focus on their perceived “problem spots” when viewing their images.  I’ve heard it all – from complaints about double chins, “fat” arms, hair being swept out of place, teeth not looking white enough, makeup choices, outfit choices, looking too pale, looking too tan… you get the point.  We all have something we don’t love about our appearance, but that’s reality and you can’t expect your wedding photographer to magically fix those perceived problem areas for you when they hit that shutter button.  It’s important to remember that you are not a professional model and your photographer is (most likely) not a fashion photographer who can/will Photoshop you into a perfected Barbie-esque version of yourself.  As hard is it may be, try to embrace your flaws, celebrate your uniqueness, and focus on the positives from your session instead.  You and your fiance are perfectly imperfect… and that’s a beautiful thing!!  If you are disappointed in your engagement photos because you are hung up on your appearance, just know that no photographer is going to be able to fix that for you and it would be very unfair to think that they could.

Were there any extenuating circumstances that led to your session not living up to your expectations?  Was it unseasonably hot + humid, leading to lots of sweating?  Was it freezing outside making it difficult to look happy?  Were you forced to shoot at a difficult time of day due to venue restrictions?  Did you have to squeeze your session into a certain time frame, making it difficult to plan early for the most favorable conditions?  As a photographer, I like to communicate with my clients and discuss the “ideal” environment needed to create the types of images they see on my site.  Most of the time, I’m able to shoot in favorable conditions – but sometimes we have to “make do” with what we’re given due to my clients’ availability and scheduling.  If extenuating circumstances were to blame, there’s not much you or your photographer could’ve done to change the outcome.  I wish every single session + wedding I shot would happen in 70 degree, low humidity, partly sunny weather with portraits taking place an hour before sunset.  Unfortunately, that’s not reality and those kinds of variables can definitely impact the experience and the resulting images of an engagement session.

Was it because your fiance wasn’t fully cooperating?  Or you guys just never felt comfortable together in front of the camera?  These situations are a little harder for your photographer to magically “fix”, but it’s always good to be aware of these challenges for the wedding day.  Did your photographer say or do something to upset you during the session?  Did they not listen to your concerns and/or suggestions at all throughout the process?  Did something just feel “off” with them?  I always say that having that personal connection with your wedding photographer is super important and if you aren’t comfortable with them during the engagement session, it’s highly unlikely that that will change before the wedding day.  In situations like this, it may be best to part ways and find another photographer who may be a better fit for you.  If you have ANY reservations about your photographer’s ability to deliver images you love on your wedding day, trust your gut and cut your losses now.  You only have one shot at your wedding day photos and having complete trust in your photographer is super important!!

There are literally thousands of reasons why someone may not be completely happy with their engagement session, but it’s important to remember that your photographer is human – just like you!  They have good days and they have bad days.  They have a bag of tricks to use when photographing couples together and sometimes, none of those tricks work in making the clients feel at ease or look comfortable together.  There are certainly days when I come home and think to myself “wow – that was definitely NOT my best session” but that’s the thing… every couple is DIFFERENT and therefore every session is DIFFERENT… and that’s what keeps me excited about my job!  It’s a different challenge every time I shoot – but it also means that no session will ever be the same.  So if you’re comparing your session to others you’ve seen on your photographers’ website, STOP IT!  It’s not fair to you or your photographer because it’s just unrealistic to think that any two couples will photograph the same way.

Hopefully, your photographer has given you a variety of images in your gallery.  Make note of the ones you DO like and analyze WHY you like them.  Was it the lighting?  The pose?  The outfit?  The background?  Your interaction with each other?  The emotion?  The angle of the photo?  The point of focus?  Pinpointing what you DO like is just as important as – if not more so – pinpointing what you don’t like.  This information will come in very helpful when you start a discussion with your photographer.

Yup – a discussion.  I am all for being honest with your wedding photographer if you are truly unhappy with your engagement photos.  At the end of the day, your wedding photographer wants you to LOVE your photos and I’d venture to say that most wedding photographers will actually welcome the feedback and dialogue.  Wedding photographers aren’t in the business of having unhappy clients… at least I hope not!!  I know I’m DEFINITELY not!!  Just remember that your photographer will want to know specifics about what you do and don’t like about the photos, so they can come up with a plan of action to make things right.  Remember: they want you to be happy!  So talk to your wedding photographer and just be honest.  Hear them out and give them the chance to respond before making any rash decisions or completely writing them off.

Honesty really is the best policy here and if, after chatting with them, you still don’t have confidence that you’re going to LOVE your wedding photos, then it’s probably time to part ways.  Sometimes, it’s just not a good fit and that’s OKAY!  It’s nothing personal.  Art is completely subjective and there are so many options when it comes to photographers.  They can differ in terms of shooting style, posing style, use of lighting, editing style, their personality, etc. – there’s bound to be a “best fit” for everyone!  I always want to see clients find the “best fit” for them… even if it’s not me!  So if your gut is telling you that you may end up hating your wedding photos, it just might be time to move on – but just be sure to discuss things with your photographer first.  They may have an explanation or a game plan to fix things – or they may agree with you that they just aren’t the right fit.  Either way, it starts with an honest conversation.