Every weekend, I witness great love. My eyes tear up as my fabulous couples recite their vows to each other. I see the way they look at each other throughout the day and it fills my heart with such joy. I document tears of pure happiness as two people pledge their love, support + loyalty to each other. It’s these moments that make my job sooooooo wonderful. But it’s also moments like this that make this particular time in my life even more difficult.
This week, I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I went to the lawyer’s office to begin the process of officially divorcing Brian. I feel like I’m going to puke pretty much every minute of every day. I keep thinking “this can’t really be happening… this can’t really be my life” and hoping I’ll wake up from this horrible nightmare… but I never do. I have been an emotional mess for the past month… but if I’m being honest, it’s been extremely difficult for more than a year now. I was hopeful that we could work things out, so I didn’t say much about our relationship to anyone. I never wanted my friends and family to think badly about him, or me, or our relationship. However, it’s been made abundantly clear that he has no interest in working things out. He has refused to communicate with me since he left and I’m left with a broken heart… and so many unanswered questions. Now that we’re at this point, I thought it was time to share my story because if there’s one thing I’ve learned along this journey, it is that I have a LOT of love + support in my life. And if I can help someone by sharing my story – by letting just one person know that they are not alone in this fight for love – then I feel good about that.
I believe in love. I believe in fighting for love. But you can’t fight for something all by yourself. Trust me, I tried.
I also believe that everything happens for a reason. Although I have no idea what that reason is right now, I know that better days are ahead… and I’m hopeful for the future. I’m a hopeless romantic and I’m holding out hope that my great love is still out there. A love that will lift me up instead of break me down. A love that will make me feel beautiful instead of insecure. A love that will make me feel wanted instead of alone. I have faith that it’s out there. I’ve seen so many others find it… so why not me?
It is the love I witness each and every weekend that gives me hope. This is why I LOVE my job! While it may be tough for a while, I know it will get easier. And I’m hopeful that there will be love in my life again.
I just want to publicly thank all of my amazing friends, family + clients for all of the love + support you’ve shown me during this extremely emotional time in my life. To my amazing team – Emily, Sloan, Kelly – you ladies have helped me through some extremely challenging wedding days recently and I can’t thank you enough for picking me up and keeping everything flowing seamlessly for my clients while I’ve struggled to keep myself focused + together at times. I honestly couldn’t do it without you!
You know, I was hesitant to share my story with the world, but I’ve always been an open book and I want to let people into my life – the good and the bad. I truly believe that you can’t just share the highlights in life… that’s one of the reasons I loathe social media. Life isn’t all highlights. It’s not a carefully curated storyboard of perfection. I believe you have to acknowledge the not-so-good-stuff, as well. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m sure some people look at my life and think I have it all figured out. But obviously I don’t!! And that’s totally okay. All we can do is own our shit (pardon the language, but it’s true…), share our stories, and move forward knowing that better days are ahead. I still believe in love and I know that there is something better out there for me. There is light at the end of every tunnel.
With a well-worn passport in hand, and an affinity for a good cocktail, Dana works with fun-loving and kind-hearted clients around the globe.
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